Dig: The secret of funk was placed inside the pyramids
5,000 years ago. If we had stayed tuned (To pyramid power? Connect this
to the Chariots of the Gods melieu of the same era, and the visiting spacemen
theme of P-Funk) to The One, we wouldn't be in the mess we're in. "Mother
earth is pregnant for the third time. We all have knocked her up." It took
the arrival of Dr. Funkenstein to unearth the funk and usher its viral
spread over the de-funkatized surface of the planet. The problem with earth
is that it is devoid of funk, -- earth is the "Unfunky UFO" -- due to the
unfunky operations of the white house, the pentagon, Nixon, businessmen
and greed in general, and an overall lack of supergroovalisticprosifunkstica-tion.
The symbol for the collective greed/war mentality is embodied by Sir Nose,
D'Void of Funk ("I have always been D'Void of Funk, I shall continue to
be D'Void of Funk..."), who relentlessly pimpifies the people "By sucking
their brains until their ability to think was amputated...pimpifying their
instincts until they were fat, horny, and strung out" in pursuit of "financial
security or an eternal supply of TRIM," the result being that "the very
source of life energies on earth have become the castrated target of anile
bamboozelry from homo sapiens' rabid attempts to manipulate the omnipotent
forces of nature."
The ruthless whoring of Funkentelechy has brought
mother nature to her knees, and we're pinned beneath them. "The frenzied
incipience of pimpification hath risen to the point of cosmicide." In other
words, we all have a bad case of the Placebo Syndrome, having traded in
"the real thing" for a civilization comprised of cheap imitations, which
is now crumbling around us. The Placebo Syndrome has given the body politic
weak knees, which are doomed to give out from under us at any moment. We
no longer feel the pulse, or smell the deep draughts of the Cosmic Slop
which generates the funk. "When the signal is too weak, you're in the syndrome."
But hark! We do have booties and we do have boots,
so let's move 'em! "When the syndrome is around, don't let your guard down.
All you got to do is go on a bump." We have the strategic assistance of
Star Child, who takes careful aim and shoots at Sir Nose (who inhabits
the Nose Zone, or the Zone of Zero Funkativity) with his Bop Gun, funkatizing
him in the luminescent sheen of its rays. In concert, guitarist Gary Shider
flew over the crowd, wearing diapers of course, blasting at the crowd with
a strobe light attached to a space-age rifle, "Chasing the Noses away,"
which forces Sir Nose to "give up the funk" and dance. "We shall overcome...we
got to shoot 'em with the Bop Gun." To gather the collective energies of
the funkateers into a mobilized force, Uncle Jam's Army was created to
snuff out Sir Nose wherever he may lie.
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